


Not Throwing Away His Shot.

by DoctorSmoakingQueen



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorSmoakingQueen/pseuds/DoctorSmoakingQueen
Summary: After Greg and Casey have their  hallway duel, Sylvie speaks her mind Speculation for 9x08
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	Not Throwing Away His Shot.

“You’re out of line.”

“And you’re Unprofessional!”

Sylvie turned the corner along with everyone in 51 who heard the argument all the way from the lounge room.

“What’s going on here.” Boden’s voice boomed out as the Captain and the Lieutenant glaring at each other. Sylvie could feel the tension and coldness in the room as both men backed away from each other.

“Nothing.” they both said in unison.

Sylvie knew that wasn’t true, she could tell just by the body language and the overall fact that half of Chicago probably heard them screaming at each other.Sylvie looked at both men who had backed away and looked at Chief. 

“Well, I suggest you walk this, whatever it is off before the next call and if this happens again both of you will be ripped.” 

“Yes Sir.” Grainger said as he walked towards the Apron. Casey repeated the words and walked towards the bunk room.

The crowd dispersed to what they were doing beforehand except Sylvie, Sylvie stood there her eyes going from side to side wondering which man she should check in on. Her head was telling her Grainger, her heart told her Matt.

She hated that, she was supposed to be moving on. Hell she had multiple dates with Grainger over the past couple of days but everytime her mind drifted to Matt.

So she did what she always does best; she followed her heart.

She walked into the bunkroom and saw Casey pacing. She watched him pace a couple of times, and run his hand through his hair; then she cleared her throat.

Casey stopped pacing and looked at her. “So, that was intense, you mind telling me what happened?” Sylvie said as she walked up and faced him.

“Not particularly.” he huffed.

“Matt, Greg is a good guy, he is one of us. I don’t get why you are mad at him.”

Matt looked at her with an unreadable expression. “Look, we just had a difference of opinion, that’s all.”

“I don’t think it is, is this about what happened earlier at the house or is this because I’m seeing him?”

3 hours earlier.

51 responded to a call at a house fire, there were multiple people who needed medical attention inside. Matt told Mackey and Brett to suit up in turnout gear.

“I’m sure we can bring the people out, we don’t have to take the ladies in. It may be dangerous.” Greg said.

“Well, we don’t know how badly they are injured, the fire is contained, they will be fine suit up ladies.”

“With all due respect-”

“I’m the Captain. This is my squad, you don’t get to come in for one day and think you can run the show.”

“It was about saving the lives of the people in the house, not him.”

“And then he told me that you gave him attitude at the scene of a car being flipped over, every time he had an idea you wouldn’t even acknowledge it.”

Casey sighed and closed his eyes.

“So Answer me this Matt, is your problem really with him doing his job, or that him and I are seeing each other?” Casey went to answer but the words wouldn’t form. Hell Yes that was his issue but he knew he couldn’t admit it, He had hurt her enough already. Sylvie knew though, she got to know him better than anyone this past few years. “That’s what I thought.”

“Fine, yes it bothers me okay? It bothers me because you just seemed to move right along just as I-”

“How dare you.” Sylvie interrupted. Her face went from concerned to anger as fast as a switch being turned on and off. “You want to stand there and judge me for trying to move on, especially when you moved on with Sydney the thunder girl right after what happened with us.”

“Sylvie-”

“No, you're going to listen to what I have to say.” She said as she looked at him with an intense glare that almost flew him backwards. “We were friends, good friends maybe even started turning into best friends and you were so kind to me and you were there for me I mean you helped look for a cat. “ She said as the tears filled the rim of her eyes and she chuckled. “And in my head, I knew that I was falling for you, and I tried to deny it because you are Matt the ex-husband of my best friend. That's the biggest non-starter in the history of non- starters. I tried to deny it for so long hell Olivia, Emily and Stella even told me to go for it but in my head I couldn’t because I was afraid to lose you. I have lost so much in such a small period of time that if I lost you I’m not sure i could come back from that.”

Casey looked at her with his undivided attention, he didn't speak though he knew Sylvie wasn't done and he had to hear what she had to say.

“And then Halleck happened and that night at Molly’s my heart burst because I knew you had feelings too. And then, the fear came over me again . That I was falling for you and that you were Gabby’s Matt. So I ran and avoided you because how can Sylvie Brett compete with Gabby Dawson. I was there, I saw your love story, hell, I was your number one cheerleader. My whole life I’ve always felt like I was competing or I was never good enough. My entire childhood was full of questions on why Julie didn’t want me.”

Matt saw the tears start to fall out of Sylvie’s eyes and he wanted to wipe them away. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that nothing or no one would ever make her feel that way again. But he couldn’t because he did make her feel that way. And it killed him.

“Don’t get me wrong I love my parents and my brother, and my family surrounded me with so much love and care that I am so lucky and thankful to have them, but in the dark corners of my mind the Julie question popped up. Then, I met Harrison and once again didn’t feel like I was good enough and then I came to 52 and ever since then I have had to compete with someone or something and I’m tired of being that way.”

“You aren’t Sylvie, you know that.” 

“And then you showed up at my door, and I finally just followed my heart for once and kissed you. Even though I knew that there may have been a part of you that still loved Gabby and that It would change our friendship forever I couldn’t hold back anymore. My whole life I have been pushing away my happiness and my needs for the sake of others and my relationships so for once I went for what I wanted and I kissed you, and you kissed me back and for one moment in time it was perfect. I realized that you felt feelings for me that I felt for you.

Matt agreed it was perfect, if he could go back to that night and change his answer he would do that now but the damage has already been done and he wasn't sure how he could go back, or even if Sylvie would want him now.

“And then once again my insecurities broke through, and I had to know before it went any farther. So I asked the question because I had to know. I had to know that if we continued and if I fell more in love with you than I already have I would be once again broken hearted if Gabby came back. I had to know that you were choosing to be with me and not choosing me because you couldn’t have Gabby. For the longest time I have done for others before myself, and now I am doing things for myself because you gave me that confidence. You made me realize I deserve the best, that i should get exactly what i want because that is what I deserve.”

Matt flashed to the night he said those words to her at Molly’s. Everything was so different then he wished he could go back. He couldn't.

“And the funny thing whether it makes me a horrible person or not, the one thing I wanted was you. To be with you. So I asked the question because I need to know for sure If you wanted me as much as I wanted you, or you were just using me to fill a void. I’m not Gabby Matt, I can never compete with her or what you had. The one thing I want now is for you to be happy, I don’t care about my happiness because right now I’m just trying to be happy even though my heart will always be hoping that someday the answer to my question will be No. That someday you will want to be with me because you want to be with me.”

“Sylvie-”

“It’s okay you said what you said, and in my heart I knew what you were going to say, I just had hoped that you would’ve said No because I think we could’ve been truly great together. I have lost a lot of people but the one person I can’t lose is you, your friendship. I've tried asking for space and the first thing I wanted to do at every shift was go find you and have a laugh or a conversation like the days before our moment happened-”

Sylvie was about to continue when the alarms blared for an Ambo call.

She sighed and went to turn but stopped herself and looked directly at Matt. “If Gabby is what you want, if she makes you happy you need to fight for her. Being in love with someone that makes it easy is the best feeling in the world and don’t worry about me. I'll be okay.” She wiped her tears and gave him a small smile. “And please be nice to Grainger.” she said before taking off out the room. 

Matt stood there shell shocked, he was speechless which was more than how he felt a few minutes ago with Grainger. Sylvie was in love with him. He knew she had feelings but she was in love with him, and he screwed it up and hurt her. 

He sighed as he sat down on the bunk and put his hands on his head.

##

Later that night, Matt was walking down towards Molly’s when he saw Grainger walk out ,nearly taking him out with the door.

‘Oh, sorry.” Grainger said.

“No problem, look about earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it, water under the bridge besides I should've known better about Sylvie and you.”

“I’m sorry.” Matt said looking at Greg with a confused glance.

“Back when I asked you if she was seeing someone, I saw how uncomfortable you got but I didn't pick up on it, and earlier today i overhead you and Sylvie in the bunkroom. She’s in love with you man and I don’t want to put her in a position where she feels like she has to rush into a relationship when she is clearly not over what happened with you two. So how about you man up Captain and make a move, because sooner or later if you don’t , she will get over you and I’ll be waiting. Don’t throw away your shot.” Greg patted him on the shoulder before walking away.

Matt watched Greg’s retreating body and then stared at the doors to Molly's, his mind flashing back to what Sylvie said earlier.

“Being in love with someone that makes it easy is the best feeling in the world”

He was done with not fighting for her, done with being too stuck up in his own ass to make a move. He heard her side, now she would hear his, and this time he would make sure that Gabby was no longer in her mind when he kissed her again. He would make sure she knew he wanted to be with her and only her and that he loved her too.

And he would kiss her again because he was Captain Matt Casey.

He was determined, and he was not throwing away his shot.


End file.
